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I came down from my creative high….

2009/10/02

Bob Dylan has been on my mind this week.  Well, his music has.  I love his music.  I saw him in concert once and it wasn’t the best, I like his albums better.  Lots of time how much I enjoy a show depends on my seat.  I don’t remember where I even saw Dylan.  I keep thinking of little snippets… “a hard rain’s gonna fall.”  That’s kind of been my week because Tim got laid off this week and I was in shock for a couple of days.  I fell asleep watching a documentary called Knee Deep about a young man who shot his mother because she was going to sell the family farm.  I don’t know how it ended up and I didn’t care.  I’m pretty numb & paralyzed when I don’t want the full scoop.

One writer I really love is John Irving.  My favorite novel is A Prayer for Owen Meany, with Cider House Rules a close 2nd.  I think I’ve read all of his novels.  Cider House Rules is one of the best film adaptations of a novel I’ve seen.

I finished the 1st cd of Mad Men, 2nd season tonight.  It’s interesting, because there was a fellow on NPR today talking about how irritating the show is.  It is irritating in that everyone is so shallow.  But the characters are just so damn good looking, and the clothes and the decor are so stylish.  I heard the treatment of the Kennedy assassination was very unrealistic, but I haven’t gotten to that yet.  It was good for the numb mind, though.

I feel a lot better, have gotten to a much more positive place about Tim losing his job.  I know another opportunity awaits.  If we can, we’ll have to get out of our contract for the townhouse, and, frankly, I want to.  I don’t want that hanging over us.  So, our realtor is calling the builder tomorrow and hopefully we won’t get slammed too badly.  I haven’t been able to read, I’ve been quite distracted.  However, I do believe in the power of positive thinking, and I’m working my way there.  I don’t mind not getting the townhouse.  I like where we are living now.  This is the only country in the world that puts such emphasis on home ownership, and we’ve owned 4 homes between us.  The thought of not being tied to a mortgage is kind of freeing right now.  And, I refuse to be embarrassed.  It is what it is:  life!  I feel much gratitude for my life.  I wouldn’t want any other!  And my creativity will return.  It’s here, just stifled some right now.

Heavy heart,
Busy mind,
Moments of relief and joy
I am.

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