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Art Opening (and blather)

2010/01/12

at Visual Arts Center this Friday.  I plan to attend.  Looks like fun.  There’s also Open Studio going on via Art 180 at various locations today through Thursday.

I started becoming active again on sparkpeople.com.  It’s a great site to help with weight loss.  The biggest thing is recording what I’m eating every day, which helps me be accountable.  I hope I can lose some weight.  I’m going to the doctor this Friday after having my bloodwork done this past Friday, and I’m afraid about my cholesterol.  I know it’s going to be high.  So, I’m getting the head start before I get the lecture Friday.

I’m feeling really bothered & down because of something that happened.  I didn’t feel like I could talk about it because it has more to do with Tim than me.  It’s his business, but it is very upsetting to me.  He worked somewhere a few years ago for 5 years and was let go on awful terms.  They seemed really unfair at the time, continued to be unfair and illegal in not getting our Cobra insurance going, then when he requested the paperwork involving a supposed meeting with the company principles that put him on probation for a month,  it was obvious the paperwork was made after the request.  The meeting occurred but nothing was communicated regarding job performance.

It was just a big miscommunication regarding his job priorities and he was villified.  The accountant, who thought he was supposed to be reporting to her (he thought it was the principles, who had expressed nothing but satisfaction with his work), decided he had to go.  From the day he had this “warning” meeting that wasn’t a warning meeting, she kept copious notes about his every move & failing.  She then “tested” him with things to do, without indicating their priority, and used that to fault him for everything he didn’t do to her specifications.  She used the strongest, meanest language in denouncing him.  I just don’t understand the malice, or what feels like malice.   If they had just said, hey we have to let you go because of the economy or something.  But no, 1st they tried to deny him unemployment, telling the employment commission awful things about him that were not true.  Then they withheld our health insurance.   It was a difficult, painful situation to get through. 

Now, a friend who was a client of Tim’s and another person there had a meeting (finally, after over a year) with this person, and the first thing he did was apologize for Tim.  He then proceeded to gossip about us and our living arrangements.  She was shocked.  I wish she hadn’t told me.  At first I told her not to, I wish I’d stayed with it.

I don’t tend to be paranoid, and I try so hard not to be a victim.  One of my core values is that there are no vicitims, so what is our lesson?  What is my lesson?  I wish I knew.  I know it has something to do with letting go.  Let go, let God.  The feeling sucks, but I need to just let myself have it without feeilng sorry for myself or on behalf of Tim.  The lesson is Tim is a big boy who can fight his own battles.  THAT is the lesson.  I just wish it would end with this company.   It feels so awful, like they won’t leave us alone, and I know that response is not in proportion to what happened.  Let go, let go.  Let Tim fight his own battles.  He’s a big boy!!   A manly man!!  Let him deal with it.  It has nothing to do with me.  It just hurt to see him hurt.  At the time, he felt so betrayed, and it just seems to continue.

Okay, I’ve written about it.  Can I possibly let it go?  It already has claw marks on it!  I’m giving it to Spirit.  It’s more than I can handle.  I must sound crazy but I don’t care.  Whatever!

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5 Responses to “Art Opening (and blather)”

  1. gbaugh Says:

    I too had some issues with a place I worked. The HR people are supposed to talk down to the employees that way they can try to deny them unemployment.

    It can knot your stomach up inside.

    Not good for your cholesterol.

    I have a problem with high cholesterol, fast foods are the worst. Sugar also adds to high cholesterol.

    I pulled mine down 30 points in three months but I
    went off the fat wagon and I bet its high again.

    Good luck with that. And with Tim’s ex-employers.
    Gerardine Baugh
    http://gerardinebaugh.wordpress.com/

    • Julie Says:

      Thanks, Gerardine. It helps to hear someone else has been through the same thing. A little while ago I wrote all sorts of nasty things down on paper, for my eyes only. Probably heading for the shredder. Feel better letting the anger out through writing though.

  2. Jaymie Says:

    Good luck with everything Julie.

  3. Unc Says:

    The world is full of assholes, Julia. One is bound to bump into them often. Your hubby IS a big boy, and he CAN take care of himself, it’s true…but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be concerned for him and what he has to push thru.

    And, you know, I have two lawyers working on some things for me. Maybe it’s time for your man to talk to one. Couldn’t hurt.


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