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Why Couldn’t I

2010/05/08

be a clear-cut Mom?

Carry a baby,

birth it

and have its unconditional love

and dependence?

Was I too weak?

Would I have been a bad mother

to a helpless infant?

I grieve not having a baby.

Still.

I’m probably too old now,

Nor would I want one.

I have two fine sons,

better than I could have known

any children to be.

I’ve raised them as mine,

their earthly Mom.

I’ve seen my influence,

and I like seeing me in them.

That could be wrong.

Who knows.

I wish it felt clearer

sometimes.

I know they love me

more than I could imagine

being loved.

My boys.

Practically grown.

I’ve raised them since they

were 4 & 7.

I’ve been part of their lives

since they were 2 & 6.

I loved their Daddy.

I learned to love them.

It was hard to learn to be a Mom,

but it wasn’t hard to love

my two little angels.

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4 Responses to “Why Couldn’t I”


  1. so sweet! It is very hard being a mother, no matter how you got the job. Happy Mother’s Day.
    Well Said:
    “I’ve raised them as mine,”
    Gerardine

  2. stephanie joyce Says:

    Happy belated mother’s day…you have been a wonderful mother and you must be so proud of how well the boys are turning out! Beautiful, thoughtful writing.

    • Julie Says:

      Thank you my Friend. I have to tell you a wonderful story about a psychic nod your Mother gave me today. I meant to call you earlier. xoxo


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