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Elsie 2

2010/04/24

I took a walk tonight

with my sweet shadow, Elsie.

The birds were making a racket,

as we say here.

Perhaps they knew a forced subdual

would come via rain tomorrow.

Now, I’m prone to making up endearing

nicknames for my pets.

Elsie is a female. 

First she was Girl,

then she was Guhl.

After that she was Gwael,

and frequently she is Gwaela.

The etymology of these nicknames

is western European.

I’ve studied my ancestry,

and while many years here,

my ancestors come from western Europe.

A cabbie in San Francisco,

either psychic or ethnically gifted,

believed me of Welsh stock,

which doesn’t surprise me,

given the spelling of my pet’s nicknames.

On our walk tonight, I saw a bunny run off,

perhaps rattled by the birds

or us.

Elsie didn’t see the rabbit.

I told her,

“There goes Peter Cotton Tail

hopping down the bunny trail.

You didn’t see it, Gwael.”

Elsie, in one of her favorite waking spots.

I Want To Know

2010/02/17

I want to know about artists

and poets of the 20th century.

I want to know their personal

histories,

and their creative processes.

I want to study and write,

but have no time because I’m reading.

I want to feel creativity.

I do feel creativity, intuition.

Sometimes things seem blocked,

far way.

Other times they are very clear.

Sometimes I know a lot,

other times I know very little.

I want to know, have knowledge.

People fascinate me.

There are so many differences,

and so many similarities.

I’ve felt far from Spirit.

I want to feel Spirit in me again.

I know Spirit is there.

I’ve felt profound gratitude,

and always relate gratitude to Spirit,

so why have I not felt Spirit?

I’ve felt skeptical, judgemental,

disingenous, yet how can that be?

I try to be honest.

I try to be myself.

There are so many changes,

my sense of self is a bit rattled.

But how I love change.

Life would be so boring without it.

I’ve seen more hawks the past month

than I’d seen the past year.

I love my view.

Woods, a creek, birds, birds!

I love them in the wild.

I’ve seen Mr. & Mrs. Cardinal eating in a bush,

and Blue Jay bullying them away.

Mr. Cardinal fled first to the next tree,

and called loudly to the Mrs.

It was so sweet!

Life has been so different.

We’ve been in our own little world.

The weather and other things

have made us immobile.

Does that mean stuck?

I feel stuck, but I don’t.

I feel fluid, but I don’t.

I feel love all around me.

The breeze is my comfort

that life goes on.

The winter has affected me.

Last week I saw a gaggle of robins

cavorting on one bare piece of ground.

What a joy!

The Morning After

2010/02/07

Sunny morning, cold, cold.  Snow going nowhere right now.  The snowbirds discovered the frozen bread I left for them yesterday.  I love birds in the wild.  My Dad makes birdhouses-I’m going to get one for our new patio.  Lovely view with woods behind our ‘yard’.