I fell today


and busted my ass. It hurt like hell. I hurt my knees & then my cheek hit the asphalt. Oh, and I didn’t pass out or seize or anything. I distinctly remember my feet fumbling and the fall in detail. Every time I tried to sit up I got dizzy and couldn’t.  It still hurts and I’m going to show you a pic or you can check my twitter time line I tweeted one…

However, right now, what I’m thinking is about when people who are jaywalking or not wearing a seat belt or something else entirely uncriminal end up with their cheeks slammed to the pavement and receive not only no care, but usually at least a little more injury. No sympathy, no comfort, no feeling of safety. The whole staff at the vet’s office came out & one of the vets and tended to me. Brought me ice, called my husband, a towel for my head bc I couldn’t move. Gave me a Coke. I was dazed for a few minutes.

Tim left work and brought me home, got me situated and iced. I’m injured but great.

I can’t imagine hitting my face on the pavement like that and not being in pain and injured.

I’m thinking about how many times a day this happens to people on the streets of our country. No one gives it a thought.

Makes me hurt for our society. And ashamed I participated in letting it get this way.


RIP Trayvon Martin


I am very saddened by the murder of Trayvon Martin.  We know the shooter called 911 to report a “suspicious person”.  He was in his car, and decided to follow Trayvon.  He was in no danger, and Trayvon hadn’t done anything except walk toward his Dad’s fiance’s house, a home he had visited before.

This child was 17, had just gone to 7-11 to buy a pack of Skittles.  My 17 year old son would do that.  Like Trayvon, he wouldn’t have a weapon on him.  Unlike Trayvon, he isn’t black, so I have to wonder if he would have looked suspicious to someone like the shooter, Zimmerman.    I can’t possibly know, but based on historical fact, young black men are viewed suspiciously and stopped by police over and over and over.  I have 2 sons with a combined 5 years of driving and neither of them has ever been stopped.  If so, I’ve never been told, but I doubt it.

I understand the police don’t feel they have enough evidence to convict Zimmerman yet.  I hope he is arrested and convicted for taking the life of an innocent little boy.  Even if they had an altercation, Zimmerman is the one who followed Trayvon.  Zimmerman is the one who shot Trayvon.  Even if Trayvon started the altercation (which would be difficult if Zimmerman had stayed in his car), it was because he felt threatened.  Wouldn’t you feel threatened if you were being followed in a car as you walked down your neighborhood street, at night, in the rain?

We don’t know what happened.  We have only Zimmerman’s word, and some witnesses who heard things.  Some who say they heard a child crying out and it stopped after the gunshot.  Those witnesses were the first on scene, because it happened in their backyard.  I hope they had crime scene experts go over it to see if they could figure out how this happened.

I hear they are going to release the 911 tapes.  I’m glad.  I have read Zimmerman used derogatory, racial terms to describe this “suspicious person”.  I hope he didn’t.  I hope that isn’t true.

I believe there are 2 issues here.  The first is race.  Young black men being viewed as a threat.  The 2nd is the loose cannon that is Zimmerman.  I read he called the police 46 times in 14-15 mos.  I read he has confronted “suspicious” people in the neighborhood in the past.  Why did he need a semi-automatic weapon?  He was a bomb waiting to blow.  However, if the police can’t make a case against him for killing an innocent boy, it is just another lynching, in a line of many.


in American football is racist.  This occurred to me today when I saw it enforced during a college football game.  It brought back memories of how annoyed people around me would be when I was a kid and the player celebrated after a touchdown.  I remembered it as being an annoyance with black players, specifically.  I realize the “excessive celebration” did get out of hand, and lasted too long, but I just don’t think it would ever have been an issue if all the players were white.  Certainly I can’t be positive of this, but that’s what I remember.  That’s all.

with work, trying to get more organized, and reading.  Had some minor surgery yesterday, and spent the week at both works trying to prepare for a few days incapacitation.  It is kind of like the week before vacay.

Here is what I had to write about:  Michelle Obama’s trip to Target this week.  I saw it mentioned a few times on line and television.  last night I read an article about it on either CNN, MSNBC or ABC News.  In the article I read she was at one point referred to as ‘Obama’.  I thought of First ladies Bush, Clinton, and Kennedy.  They were Mrs. Bush, The First Lady, Hilary or Jackie.

While accustomed to the lack of respect shown President Obama when reading about him, or watching debates, newspeople and pundits, I hadn”t seen this particular subtle and racist, YES, RACIST, snippet of disrespect toward Mrs. Obama.  It is what I have called for years institutional racism.  Unnoticed by most whites, I imagine it is noticed by blacks, and it is ingrained in whites to accept it.

Think about how the Dixie Chicks were vilifed and hated when they mildly criticized President Bush.  Yes, some of us were horrified by the thought of invading Iraq, and George Bush’s eagerness to do so.

One of my hopes for President Obama’s legacy is a greater understanding of and self awareness about racism in this country.  I have so much more to say about this, but poking along with my good hand is tiring me out.  All for now.




Have you ever heard of white privilege?  As a white person, it can be hard to take.  However, it must be acknowledged for real racial healing to occur in our society.  For those of you who may not understand, white privilege is being born white, therefore never having to deal with being a minority.  As whites, we already have a “step up” in opportunity.  As a product of a working class family, this was difficult for me.  I didn’t always see a lot of opportunity.  However, we need only look around us at the characters on our television shows, the spectators and owners of professional sports teams, the ceo’s of businesses, the majority of people in government, especially the federal government, the majority of public servants like firefighters and policemen, to see that white people are the majority.  That is not because white people are the majority in our society.  Since white men started bringing Africans over and enslaving them, whites have not always been the majority in every area of the US.

I saw “The Help” yesterday.  It had some redeeming qualities.  It was entertaining.  There was a tone of racial reconciliation, but more for the white heroine of the film, rather than the black maids.  She could move on and pursue her dream of writing, while the maids are still stuck in Mississippi.  The acting of Viola Davis was extraordinary.  She was able to evoke some of the very real psychic pain that comes from years of being oppressed and un-free.  There was also the Hollywood fluff aspect, which was distracting.  That said, this film was adapted from a book by a white woman with a black maid.  Therefore, I wouldn’t expect a lot different.  I might point out if this was a film written by a black woman about a black woman it probably wouldn’t have been made.  I may be wrong, but show me how many films by and about black women have been made.  Yes, half a handful.

I recently read a book about the 1927 Mississippi River flooding.  Many blacks were forced to work for free, backbreaking work, to keep the levees in the lower Mississippi from breaching.  It was a vain attempt because the river management program was designed by competing white men, and doomed to fail.  Many blacks were forced to live for months on top of the levees.  Planters, who didn’t want to lose their labor force, prevented them from leaving the area even when rescue boats came for them.

I’m reading now Cane River by Lalita Tademy.  This is more realistic than ‘The Help’, in terms of the experience of African Americans.  I’ve just started it.  Tademy researched her ancestors, who came from the Lower Mississippi area.  It is the story of her foremothers, beginning with Suzette, who was a slave girl.  She was impregnated at age 12 or 13 by a friend of her master’s family, a Frenchman.  The novel speaks acutely of Suzette’s confusion and feelings.  Her work for the household began when she was 7 or 8.  Slavegirls and boys were never allowed to be children.  I have much more to read.

I’ve often taken issue with the idea that Sally Hemings and Thomas Jefferson were in love.  I think the fact she bore children by him is well established.  However, she was a slave.  She had no choice, she had to allow him to have sex with her.  I’ve realized this awhile, but after reading about Suzette’s experience in ‘Cane River’, I wondered about the age difference between Hemings and Jefferson.  Jefferson was about 30 years older than Hemings.  She was born about 1773, about the time Jefferson was writing the Declaration of Independence (a liberating document for white men).  Hemings was his daughter’s slavegirl.  She was in France with Jefferson, and enjoyed some of the trappings of high society there.  However, she was a slavegirl.  Jefferson had sex with, or dare I say raped, his daughter’s slavegirl, over and over.  I know that sounds harsh, but it was probably her reality.

As whites, we have to accept that while there may have been fondness, even love, between maids and the babies they cared for, slavegirls and their child masters, they were still slaves.  They could be killed for not agreeing with every word a white person said to them.  They had to work 12 hour days, 6 & 1/2 days per week.  They had to get up before their masters did to cook their masters’ breakfast. They had to submit to every white person’s sexual whim.

We also have to read our history.  While former slaves had some opportunity and protection during Reconstruction, it lasted only about 7 years.  The ensuing cultural climate enabled blacks to be enslaved all over again.  Many, I daresay most, whites still considered them unequal to themselves.  There were lynchings, rapes continued.  Remember Strom Thurmond and the maid he raped?   That child, now an elderly lady, was vilified for coming forward just a few years ago!

Blacks were paid below minimum wage.  My own aunt had a store, and black people worked there.  None had insurance, but she paid their doctor bills, made sure they were fed during hard times, etc.  However, even in the 30’s-50’s they had no opportunity to be free.  This was an economic prison for them.

Well, I’ve wanted to write about this issue, and some of the films and books I’m taking in are helping me form my words.  Thanks for reading.